


sitting duck loki

by princesszavi1



Series: Thorki one shots [4]
Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Comedy, Dork Thor, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Loki & Thor Friendship (Marvel), M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sassy Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesszavi1/pseuds/princesszavi1
Summary: Loki the directionally  challenged prince of nine realms sets out to slay a serpent.
Relationships: Fandral/Loki (Marvel), Loki/Sif, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Series: Thorki one shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1389691
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	sitting duck loki

“ Why is it so dark in here? What sorcery is this? Where is the foul serpent?” 

“ Ow Thor, you are stepping on my foot.”

“ Foul beast, Stop this trickery and show yourself for it is mighty Thor come to slay you.”

“ Thor, you bilgesnipe. Move your foot or prepared to be run through.”

“ Sif, thank Valhalla. I feared I have fallen victim to some foul magics. One moment I was winning the battle against the fearsome serpent and the next moment darkness enveloped me with no sign of the beast. ”

“ The damn snake swallowed you Thor.” Sif huffed 

“ And you were losing pretty badly.”

“ I lost. I Lost. Wait a minute. I am not supposed to lose. Where is the damn writer, I will have her head chopped off for writing this.” Thor bellowed in outrage.

“ Yeah, Thor whatever. I am out of here.” Sif walked away from Thor only for Thor to chase after her.  
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They walked a considerable distance when they saw a dull light at a distance making them increase their pace hoping for an exit. Upon reaching the light they saw Loki clad in his finery sitting in a love seat with a magic orb floating above him.

“ Loki,brother what are you doing here?” Thor asked moving towards Loki.

“ This is my summer get away Thor.” Loki deadpanned.

“ That explains so much brother.” exclaimed Thor.

“ Tell me what does it explain, dear brother.” asked Loki patiently.

“ Why you are never around during summer and why your skin looks so fair like the fresh snow. Truly all the darkness and gloom does a wonderful job in preserving your moon like skin and ebony locks.” answered Thor with all the seriousness he could muster. 

Sif and Loki face palmed.  
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“ What are you doing here brother?” asked Loki sarcastically knowing it will go right over his brother's head.

“ Lady Sif believes that we were swallowed by the mighty serpent in middle of a glorious battle that I was totally winning.” answered Thor oblivious.

“ well I think,it is time to we go save the idiotic three. what say you, Lady Sif.” 

“Finally I thought you will never ask Prince Loki.” snarked Lady Sif drawing her sword.

“ Take heed my lady. I've been wanting a reptile wallet for quite sometime.” purred Loki readying his magic.

“ Brother, Where will we find a reptile on such a short notice.” intoned Thor readying Mjolnir.

“ I swear Thor, your body's growing bigger, but inside everything is same as 10 centuries ago. Now get ready to swing that stupid hammer of yours on count of three.”  
“ 1,2,3. now Thor.” shouted Loki teleporting them directly above the snake's head.

With a mighty cry Thor hit the beast crushing its head. The snake fell to the ground twisting in its death throes, making the warriors three run for cover while Lady Sif and and the princes scrambled for purchase. After a few moments it lay still much to relief of all.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“ Prince Loki, you decided to join us.” exclaimed the warriors three crowding Loki and helping him to his feet.

“Did you see me battle the mighty beast?” gushed Fandral sauntering towards Loki with his sword held high.

“ But I slew the mighty serpent.” rebuked Thor moving towards his brother.

“ Not now Fandral. GO away.”

“ And Thor. Stop whining.”

“ The snake is not gonna skin itself. Chop chop.” tittered Loki throwing his dagger at Thor.

“ But LoooooooKKKiiiiiiiiiiiii , I am hungry.” whined Thor.

“ Then hurry up and skin, so I can cook the snake. Lady Sif will you do the honor of fetching the heart.”

“ you three make yourselves useful and start skinning. At this rate we will be here for eons.” bossed Loki settling into love seat (magically summoned).

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“ My prince, perhaps you should leave the cooking to us while you relax and restore your magic.” placated the warriors three.

“ Nonsense, I am perfectly well rested. In fact I think I will flambe the heart.” chirped Loki lighting a giant flame with a flick of his arm.

Thor and warriors gulped slowly moving away from Loki. The Lady Sif threw the heart into the flames taking cover in the beast gaping mouth wisely.

The heart caught fire within minutes. The flames rose burning the nearby tree and threatening to burn everything to ground. 

“ Thor, storm please.” 

“yes, brother.” replied Thor calling the storm; dousing the tree and burning meat.

“ PerrrFect. Just the right color. Everyone come get your meal.” insisted Loki clapping his hands and motioning them to form a loose circle.

“ Big brother, you get to pick first as you fell this mighty beast.” Loki smiled looking at Thor adoringly.

“ You have my gratitude Loki.” replied Thor with a huge grin as he made a show of appraising the charred blood dripping meat, ripping a portion from the top. He waited until everyone had their share before biting into the meat.

“Mm.. so good. Truly you have bested yourself brother.” declared Thor chewing loudly.

“ So delicious, well done.” declared Fandral.

“ Yes, surprisingly delicious.” added Volstagg and Hogun masking their distaste for the bloody meat.

“ Lady Sif.” murmured Loki looking at her.Everyone as one turned towards her waiting for her to begin eating. 

“ Perhaps some salt.” she stuttered.

“ Yes, Of-course my Lady.” Loki turned away to search for said condiment in his magical storage space when Lady Sif switched her meat with Hogun exclaiming, 

“ Never mind my prince. I think its perfect the way it is.”  
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Loki pulled out wine skins and dessert abandoning the glob of meat in his hand.  
They also ditched their meat subtly thanking their stars for escaping Loki's mad cooking skills alive. They passed the wine skins back and forth hoping Loki will share his dessert with them.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“ Prince Loki, How did you end up in the snake's belly?” inquired Hogun hoping to distract The young prince.

“ Oh that, well even though I was against it initially; I couldn't get my mind of Thor's idea of slaying the legendary serpent of Erbor. So I decided to join the quest but I was late. I asked Heimdall to put me down near your location. Well he must have miscalculated for I couldn't find you no matter how far I have searched and then I stumbled upon the snake and it gulped me down. I was in there for 2 days before you found me. I can't believe how often you get side tracked on a quest making me wait for you.” huffed Loki crossing his arms glaring at them.

Thor, the warriors three and Sif stammered, “ well.. yes.. side um side tracked. Silly us.” for they did not have the heart to correct their directional challenged prince.

“ Sorry brother, we will try our best the next time. Please forgive us.” pleaded Thor earnestly.

“ Just this time brother. I want a present something grand.” replied Loki oblivious.

“ Only the finest for my brother.” shouted Thor getting nods from others.

“ Finish your meal you oaf. You have a giant serpent to skin.” chuckled Loki.


End file.
